Balance

It is interesting how everything is balanced. We might not really feel the positive side of the equation but everything is truly balanced – my professor in Speech Comm 183 (Audio Visual Communication) for this sem said so. I used to feel bad about not being able to afford nice doll houses and other play things, but the lack of funds was compensated with a good enough brain to enjoy reading books as much as I enjoy playing with dolls.

The First Half of the Day

My Monday started really nice. I woke up early, ate clam soup for breakfast, had a ‘have a nice day in school‘ kiss from my mom, and greeted by a smiling professor despite me being 5minutes late. We had a nice introductory discussion and though there was nothing to take notes of just yet, there was a lot of substance without having to sacrifice the fun in class. I like that casual environment we had this morning. I like it so much that it seemed to have ended too early. Time flies really fast when you are enjoying something… Or maybe because I was excited to meet Mogu for lunch.

I waited for him at SM Manila’s Karate Kid – my first time to eat in that branch. I wanted to have lunch at Greenwich (I miss the pizza) but there were too many people waiting in line. I am impatient. I had chicken ramen snacku, potato balls, and california maki… and I realized I can’t finish all. Thank God for the boyfriend who ate my maki and the invention of ‘take-out’.

Someone Misses Someone

The last time I saw this guy was Friday. And 2 days felt like 2 weeks. I missed him so much. First hour went well, until yours truly reacted on the too few times they spent recently. See, mystery boy is busy with school – too busy. While I have too many free time. So despite sickness and all, I went to see mystery boy. I was dying to see him. Good news came when my afternoon class was canceled = more time with Mogu. However, he has plans – me not included. I know, it’s too selfish of me to ask for his time when clearly, school work is the priority. Can you blame a girl who loves a boy so much? Won’t you give me  little of your time without me having to force you? Now that I think about it, it’s always me who texts you to please visit me, come with me, accompany me. You never invite me. Yeah, I am the aggressive one but even aggressive girls want a warm hand to pat their head.

Not The Stereotypical Emo

Let me have my moment to be emo and cry again because the tears flow through a broken faucet. Worry not, I am not emo to the extent of eyeliner, black nail polish, black clothes, and bangs. Although I have the bangs and black eyeliner. Hey, I wanna look Japan-Japan-ish and I need the eyeliner so people will see that I actually have eyes. Anyway, after a lot of crying, not talking, and nose goo on my hanky, he went to school and left me to go wherever on my own. No, he didn’t just walk away, he offered to take me somewhere. It was my decision to be alone. I needed to think clearly and reflect on what I’ve just done.

Someone Wants a Hug

I was hoping he’ll hug me and say ‘everything’s gonna be okay, let’s just talk some other time‘ before he leaves me, but he didn’t. i hoped that he’ll follow me to the place I was going because he knows where. But he didn’t. So we parted again without solving the little issue we have. Not knowing when we’re gonna see each other again, can’t we make things right before we part ways? There goes my expectation again. Come on guys! It’s not just in the movies – a warm hug  really makes everything alright (at least for me).

Yeah. So my day began nicely.. ended badly.

P.S. I vow not to ask to you to come see me anymore. I’ll wait, patiently like a good and understanding girlfriend. I’ll wait for you to come to me and spend your precious time with me. You were my 1st sem’s inspiration. This sem, I’ll look forward to TechWrit2 and the SpComm183 film projects to keep me busy. Hopefully, they’ll make me not think of you always cause it hurts when I think of you and you’re not with me.

P.P.S. In reference to the film Shutter, am I becoming too clingy to make you want to leave me? Are you starting to become sick of my stream of text messages and constant calls? <Paranoid>

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~ by Pat on November 16, 2009.

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